Train
Breath in, breath out.. Deeper, breath in, breath out..
When I least expected we started to cross a series of tunnels, the lights went out and the feeling dropped, like my heart could ever drop till hit my stomach. I knew that feeling too well, it was too familiar.
In that moment, for a fraction of second, I came back home, but somehow I was still at the tunnel. It was the feeling I had for months now, the feeling I tried to explain to myself and couldn’t.
That tunnel is my life. I’m standing there, the lights are of and I’m alone. After running looking for a way out I’m exosted, don’t know that to do anymore. I’m about to go crazy, or I am already crazy, I’m not really sure.
After running, and falling, I’m hurt, scratched, bleeding, but somehow, still walking, looking or my way out. Looking for the future, and in some ways for the present to. Who am I kidding? I was looking for me.
When I was too tired to walk I just lined on the wall, when I ran my hand through it, I finally discovered something. Switches. But witch one?
After awhile, I discovered what they meant, I just knew it. They where choices, dreams, perspectives. Every way I ever saw my life going and a couple of more. I could feel every desire I ever had. Every single dream, was then that I realize that in order to get out of that tunnel I had to choose, it was possible to push more than one, but still, I had to push. And I couldn’t choose.
I could see my life in every way, so different. Problem is, I don’t know that I want, have no idea where I’m going. So I just sit there, seeing the possibilities, there were so many.
When the light hit my face I came back to the train, heard my sister laugh. I had came back to me, to my life.
When she gazed me with worry in her eyes and asked if I was ok, I could just say I was fine, was just daydreaming.
When I turned to the window and saw a beautiful waterfall I realized that I was still there, in the dark, contemplating all the possibilities. And I’m just going to be able to choose the day I can found out who I am. It’s just then I’ll know what I want.
It’s only then I’ll be able to push the switch, and I know I’m going to make the right choice.
For now, I’m going to keep enjoying the ride, seeing that beautiful view and, well, every once in awhile, I can even see a beautiful waterfall.